My family and I drove away from the city for a weekend this May. It was a surprise trip, one I didn't really expect. I was supposed to stay at home and sleep, to give time to a much-needed rest for I have weekends planned full for the month. I didn't really do much, though, but I can't stop myself from taking photos, so they are. I hope you feel the way that I do, even a little bit, when you see these.


I was sitting at the back of the car, my dad was driving, my mama on the passenger seat, my brother and cousin after them, and me and my baby sister Juliana who was fast asleep at the third row. The roads were dark and I can only see faint lights from other vehicles and houses from a distance. Tired of all the blackness and senselessness of what I was seeing, I put down my eyeglasses and watched the lights pass by like living bokehs running. I thought again, how it is not to leave the moment, to leave my mind blank, to extend in the simplicity of that time at present. But I knew I can't, there can be no such way. So I watched them all, the living bokehs outside the window, and just tried to live in it, in the silent darkness yet with such delight my blurry vision gave me. I wish I can remember it all, those living bokehs.

alive and breathing

my first journal for my 22nd year about to be filled out, my second journal about to be filled in