offering

For the first time in a really long time, I've found something worth waking up, with even just an hour of sleep. It melts in my dreams at times, in the evenings, sometimes not, either because of over-thinking or sheer giddiness and excitement. I found something to look forward to, making me crave for tomorrows, fueling my everyday. I'm drawn, obsessed like moth towards a lamplight. It steadies me. It makes me happy. I don't know what I'll do if I don't do it.

I don't know why it took me so long to do this, to gather up all courage and just ship. To open up to people and ask them to be part of my journey. I've always been shy and I keep it to myself. I write it down, I don't speak. I guess certain life events just teach you and you're forever changed. As you walk on earth, you get more conscious of what surrounds you, your horizons expand, and intently, you look deeper. Deeper and deeper still. Until you find your heart.

However, I sometimes feel it's unfair. Unfair to the One who has made it all. My heart sometimes just explodes, and I want Him to know that it's because of Him, assuring Him that it's not about me. That if He asks me to let go of this dream, I would gladly do so because He is my One Joy. All else are studs in the night sky. I just want to balance things out, put things in order. I want to put it out here, once and for all. He goes first, I go last.

This Lord, I offer You. My healed eyes, my scarred soul, my hopeful imagination. Wherever You go, I go.